“I honestly don’t think that I would have survived.”
Here I am sitting in front of my laptop. Wondering what am I doing? Is anyone going to read this.
What a privileged world we live in. How pompous of me to expect to have an audience. You have to earn an audience. That’s what I am working on. Thank God I didn’t have an audience anytime in my life before now. I honestly don’t think that I would have survived.
Now my goals are different. I am still trying to refine who I want to be in the work that I do. The distance between sitting here writing and the person who felt lost, helpless, and without a developed skill is growing as the days go by. A little reminder of the progress that has been made is necessary.
I do not currently have more than 500 followers on any internet platform.
Why does it matter?
It doesn’t have to matter.
It drives me crazy. To be honest if I were making a living from publishing content on the internet, networking, and honestly making a difference in people’s lives it wouldn’t really matter. I could care less. At least that’s what I tell myself.
So then what is it?
I think for me it is fear. I am afraid that it isn’t going to work. I am afraid that I won’t get any better and I am going to live a life as someone who went for it and fell flat on face right in front of everyone.
I guess that’s better than living a life wondering what if.
